Chapter 1



Your name is JOHN EGBERT. You have a variety of INTERESTS, or at least, you used to. You’ve spent the last five years growing INCREASINGLY INTROVERTED, preferring to spend your time alone at home. “Preferring” is a bit of a loaded word, actually, but it’s the one you prefer to use. It’s easier than trying to explain the reason you really spend so much of your time alone at home. This assumes of course that you can even remember why anymore.


You check your MOBILE DEVICE and notice a number of unread messages. It seems you’re a POPULAR GUY and a COOL KID. Until you check them and notice the most recent messages are from at least 24 hours ago. You scroll back up to the top and start with the most recent. It seems your friend Dave was trying to reach you yesterday.


-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --


TG: hey john

TG: joooooohn

TG: look dude i know you never fuckin look at your phone anymore but come on ive been tryin to reach you for days bro

TG: i keep getting shit from your sister cause you dont talk to her anymore

TG: i swear she thinks im gay for you or something

TG: not that theres anything wrong with that i mean you already know im gay

TG: im all down with making out with dudes and shit you know that like im all up in that shit hell yeah dudes are great i love guys

TG: look lets just rewind a bit how are you my dude

TG: come on john youre leaving me hanging and now i sound crazier than your sister

TG: ok fine i get the hint ill bug you later bro.


-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --


Jeez. If you didn't know any better you'd say he was INTERESTED IN YOU. You flip through a few of the other messages, skimming through them, paying even less attention than you did to the first. Dave, Jane, Roxy, Jade, wow even Karkat? You almost wonder what Karkat would have to say to you, but you figure it's probably nothing important. Nothing is ever really that important anymore.


What bothers you is that you can't remember why you didn't acknowledge any of these yesterday. Or much of anything else that happened yesterday. Really, you can't even seem to remember much of anything anymore. It's been five years since you and your friends "BEAT THE GAME" you were playing and CREATED a new UNIVERSE. Because that's what playing video games is all about. The last three of those years have been unusually blurry for you though, and the only thing you can really recall is how much of that time you spent COMPLETELY ALONE.


Wait. Five years?


Fuck, that's right.


Today is April the 10th, and your DAY OF BIRTH CELEBRATIONS, which most would call your BIRTHDAY, is only three days away. How did you forget your own birthday?


You return to your favorite INSTANT MESSAGING CLIENT, the one you and your friends prefer to use over text messaging for sentimental and somewhat practical reasons, and continue checking and ignoring your friends' messages. Though, you figure you should maybe let some of them know you read them. It might be nice to let them know you're actually still alive. Assuming you are, of course. You decide to check your pulse just to make sure, until you realize that you most likely are and didn't actually need to check. Boy, do you feel like an idiot sometimes.


--tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --


TG: yoooooooooo john

TG: what r u up to

TG: me n callie are like

TG: tryin to come up w ideas for stuff to do when we come by

TG: cause we wanna like

TG: hang out w u before ur bday n shit

TG: or after idk

TG: w ever u wanna do dude

TG: lemme know some time ok? :3

TG: also u should talk to my bro some time hes been like

TG: tryin 2 talk to u i think

TG: he's prolly totally into u isnt he?

TG: *wonk*


-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --


-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG] --


EB: oh hey roxy.

EB: sorry i missed that lol.

EB: i have been kind of busy lately, but when i get some time i'd love to hang out!


-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG] --


Roxy's nice. But you're not sure you want to do any hanging out right now. Thankfully they're not currently online, so you can let them know you're still alive without having to actually talk to anyone. Success. You decide to keep skimming through, making sure to appear as if you're offline, so you don't have to talk to anybody who does happen to be online.


-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --


TT: Hello John.

TT: I know it's been some time since we've actually talked, but if you wouldn't mind indulging me for a moment.

TT: I'd like to talk about the nightmare you had last night.


Excuse you?


How does she know about your nightmare? How does she know about you having nightmares at all? You don't have nightmares.


Well. Apart from that one you had last night. You don't remember much of it, but you remember seeing your sister Jade. Or, someone who looked like her. She had GREY HAIR and looked much older. She seemed to be threatening someone who looked familiar. You couldn't recognize her, but she looked almost like somebody you used to know, especially with her ARM missing. Actually, you swear you recognize her GLASSES from somewhere. They almost looked like yours.


But they couldn't be yours, and she couldn't be you, for you currently have your GLASSES, and you have both of your ARMS currently intact. Not to mention you're definitely not a girl.


TT: I don't expect you'll see this, or even respond to it, but at the very least I'd like to be able to talk to you about it.

TT: I'm worried it may be of importance in the near future.

TT: Or I could be wrong and you could simply be dreaming in anime again.

TT: Either way, I think it would at least be nice to talk to you again.

TT: In person.

TT: Seeing as it's been some time.

TT: I suppose I'll await a response of some kind whenever you decide to actually check your messages.


-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --


You still don't really know how she knew about you having nightmares, or how she could see them four days in advance. You just assume it's some kind of Seer stuff.


No, wait. She didn't see it four days in advance. You had another one four days ago. That one was even more worrying. Maybe you should talk to her. She does seem to be online.


-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --


EB: oh hey rose i'm sorry i didn't see that.

EB: i don't think the nightmares were really that important, but if you think so then i guess we should talk about them.

TT: Oh, hello John. I didn't expect to actually get a response any time soon.

EB: ouch :|

TT: I'm sorry, but you have to admit it's been somewhat difficult to reach you lately.

EB: yeah that's true...

EB: i've just been kind of busy lately.

TT: Oh?

EB: yeah, cleaning up some stuff around the house and around town.

EB: i finally fixed those holes in my dad's old room!!

TT: I thought you had fixed those last year?

TT: Or did something else happen to your father's room?

EB: oh, yeah, i forgot how long ago that was.

TT: Well, despite your current state of busyness, what would you say to meeting somewhere for coffee?

TT: There's a lovely little place I've been meaning to try with Kanaya for some time, but I figure getting to see my oldest friend again is a suitable second choice.

EB: oh wow thanks.

EB: glad to know i'm your backup option :P

TT: Well, it's either you or Strider, but he seems too preoccupied with a certain someone lately, and given the choice between you and his companion?

TT: I think you can see why I'd prefer you as a backup to my Adoring Matesprit.

EB: lol are you sure she's not making you type that?

TT: Whatever Do You Mean Egbert

TT: Certainly Im Capable Of Showing My Matesprit Plenty Of Love And Affection On My Own

TT: I Dont Need Her To Make Me Do That

EB: ok now i believe you lmao.

EB: i will meet you out there!!!!!!!!

TT: How exciting.

TT: I'll see you this afternoon then.

TT: Then we can peruse the spacious depths of your nightmares and determine exactly how ruinous our futures are going to be.

EB: heheheh

EB: see you later rose!


-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --


Oh boy. You have a DATE. You are extremely excited for the DATE.


No, it's not a DATE, you tell yourself. It's just two friends getting coffee and discussing their nightmares. You know. As Friends Do.


Of course, you will need to prepare for this TOTALLY NOT A DATE. You search your closet, only to find it empty. Of course it's empty, why did you check it in the first place? Ever since you reached god tier, your wardrobe has existed entirely in your mind. You need only think of an OUTFIT you have previously worn and it will be worn once again. You really can't believe how poor your memory has gotten lately.


After a quick shower, you don your typical casualwear - a blue hoodie with your aspect on it, paired with your old jeans. They are somewhat baggy, as is your hoodie. You prefer this to wearing clothes that might look "cooler", like a certain someone you knew once convinced you to wear. While those clothes might look "cooler" indeed, they don't hide certain aspects of your appearance as well. You don't think very highly of your appearance. Not that it's particularly bad, you merely don't think it suits you. It just feels "wrong" sometimes.


Just like that, you managed to lose track of time. You're starting to run late for your TOTALLY NOT A DATE.


JOHN: do you really have to keep calling it that?


Excuse me?


JOHN: do you have to keep being so snarky? who cares if it's a date or not? it's not a date can you just stop calling it that!


John, who's the narrator here? And who's the character in a story?


JOHN: i don't fucking know but just stop calling it that!

JOHN: this is stupid.

JOHN: can we just get back to the fucking story?


Fine.


You're starting to run late for your DEFINITELY NOT A DATE coffee time with Rose. You should probably get going.


---------------------------------------------------------


You begin to wonder to yourself why Rose had to pick somewhere in the Carapace Kingdom. Not that it's particularly a long trip. You do have the windy thing after all. That thing you're currently doing. It feels quite nice sometimes, just being the wind. It's kind of relaxing. You don’t have to worry about direction. You don’t have to worry about speed. Getting lost. None of these things particularly matter when you’re the wind.


Which is good because you are currently lost. It may not be a particularly long trip to the Carapace Kingdom when doing the windy thing, but it sure is a confusing one. You feel like you should be more familiar with this place. Why aren’t you? It’s nice, there’s things to do, places to go, you have friends here, you should get to know this place better.


But then again, doing so requires leaving the house, and you really don’t do that very much anymore.


You spot a building with a few tables outside, and upon closer examination you notice your friend sitting at one. You thank Troll Jegus she’s wearing something fairly casual, so you don’t feel underdressed. You then question why you thanked Troll Jegus. Must be some kind of troll influence. You also contemplate why you’re thinking about things like Troll Jegus and whether you’re underdressed, before realizing you’re kind of just awkwardly floating about half a mile above the streets. Thankfully, there’s a CONVENIENT ALLEYWAY near the cafe you can land in, where hopefully some random carapacian won’t bother you. Not that you dislike them. You just don’t want to draw attention to yourself. You know. While wearing that inconceivably inconspicuous bright blue hoodie.


Turning the corner, you spot Rose, before also immediately spotting what looks like her home barely a block away. That’s convenient for her, but it’s deeply inconvenient for you. Why couldn’t she pick somewhere closer to your home? Not that you wanted to be closer to home particularly, just why somewhere close to hers and not yours? It sure doesn't seem fair to you, does it? Although, this does feel rather rude to bitch about, doesn't it? You decide that you won't say anything to her about it.


Rose looks up from her phone and notices you, a smile appearing on her face. She gets up from her table and makes her way towards you, bearing an early birthday gift in the form of a hug. As snarky as she may be sometimes, she’s still your best and oldest friend, and while it’s not particularly common, she does tend to show you how she truly feels more often than with others, even her own siblings.


ROSE: I can’t believe my own eyes. It’s John Egbert, standing here, right in front of me. I must be dreaming.

JOHN: oh haha very funny rose.

JOHN: it’s almost like you’ve never seen me before!

ROSE: Well, in my defense, we did only ever meet in person twice before getting here.

JOHN: yeah and you were grimdark one of those times :P

JOHN: actually it was kind of three times, but that third time you were dead :/

ROSE: Hmmm.

ROSE: You have a point there.

ROSE: But, that wasn’t exactly the current me, now was it?

JOHN: ok fair.


Rose sits back down, and you go inside to order a drink. After an unusually difficult struggle with the overbearing menu options, you finally return and seat yourself across from her, holding your own warm, sugary, CAFFEINATED BEVERAGE. You hope it’s one you enjoy this time. The last time you ventured forth from your home for a CAFFEINATED BEVERAGE it was disgustingly sweet, though you don't recall what exactly it was.


ROSE: So, seeing as you’ve been busy, how have your numerous projects been going?

JOHN: oh you know, they’re great.

JOHN: all kinds of different irons in the fire.

JOHN: i think i might go zap a library into existence or end world hunger or something.

JOHN: is world hunger even a thing here?

ROSE: I would imagine Earth C is likely somewhat hungry.

ROSE: Being a world is hungry work.

JOHN: ok but for real why the small talk?

JOHN: it is kind of out of character for you.


She chuckles, swirling her drink around a bit.


ROSE: Honestly?

ROSE: I just wanted to see how long it would take you to call me out.

ROSE: You were faster than I had been expecting.

JOHN: oh.

JOHN: heheheh.

ROSE: As for why I picked somewhere so close to home, it’s a precautionary measure.

JOHN: precautionary? what could be going wrong?

ROSE: Have you ever had to take care of a Mother Grub that was preparing to spawn?

JOHN: no i have not!

JOHN: that sounds kind of gross!

ROSE: Very much so.

ROSE: But it is necessary, and while my Darling Matesprit says she doesn’t need my assistance,

ROSE: I would like to remain close by.

ROSE: Just in case.

JOHN: oh yeah, that makes sense.


That is a much more valid reason than you were expecting. Now you feel a little bad for assuming. Rose's smile assures you otherwise, though. You carefully sip your CAFFEINATED BEVERAGE, realizing you may have gotten one a bit too sugary for your tastes.


ROSE: So John.

ROSE: How do you feel?

JOHN: what?

JOHN: like in general?

ROSE: Well, yes, but more specifically how do you feel being out in public?

ROSE: It's been a while, hasn't it?

JOHN: yeah, it kind of has, i guess.

JOHN: i don't know, a little weird?

ROSE: Weird how? Assuming you don't mind me asking.

JOHN: it feels like, i don't know.

JOHN: like people keep expecting me to do the windy thing?

JOHN: i feel like when i'm not looking everyone's just

JOHN: staring at me.

JOHN: it's kind of really overwhelming!

ROSE: I can imagine so.

ROSE: Would it help if I told you most of them likely don't even recognize you?

JOHN: i guess that's a little reassuring...


You casually glance around and notice almost none of the carapacians around you have even acknowledged your existence. Almost none, because of course there is always a child somewhere who is OBSESSED with her world's deific figures, as if they were characters in a PIECE OF CLASSIC MEDIA she was fixated on. Or perhaps not a child, but a young man somewhere who staunchly believes your story to be nothing more than myth, and believes you to be someone cosplaying as such a MYTHOLOGICAL FIGURE. Though, why a human would be cosplaying a god in the middle of the Carapace Kingdom, especially one such as yourself who does not have the ties to it that your friend has, you don't know.


ROSE: Well then, should we discuss the hoofbeast in the room?

JOHN: hoofbeast?

ROSE: Oh, sorry, I meant elephant.

ROSE: Kanaya has made a shocking impact on my vocabulary.

ROSE: Sometimes I barely even notice anymore.

JOHN: heheh.

JOHN: so, what hoofbeast then?

ROSE: Your dreams.

ROSE: Or, your nightmares, rather.

ROSE: One in particular, actually.

JOHN: oh yeah.

JOHN: how'd you even know about that?

ROSE: We've been friends for almost a decade and you still feel the need to ask me that?

ROSE: If I didn't know any better, I'd be asking you what you did to John and where he was.

JOHN: ok i get it!!!!!!!!

JOHN: it's some weird psycho-analysis thing or whatever.

JOHN: it's that weird therapy thing you try to do.

JOHN: or something like that.

ROSE: Something like that.

ROSE: Though in all actuality, I'm aware because I believe I may have had a similar nightmare on the same night.

JOHN: you did?

ROSE: I believe so.

ROSE: I had a nightmare four nights ago, one that was far from ordinary.

ROSE: When I awoke, I had the strangest feeling that something similar had occurred to you.

JOHN: yeah i did kind of have a weird nightmare around then.

ROSE: Would you feel comfortable telling me about it?

JOHN: i think so, yeah.

JOHN: i remember seeing you.

JOHN: except you looked like a robot?

JOHN: and you were on a spaceship or something, with all kinds of logos like jake's company.

JOHN: i guess it was one of his?

JOHN: you were looking at all these screens, and one of them had a planet on it.

JOHN: and then i guess you were talking to someone?

JOHN: the only other thing i remember is, dirk?

JOHN: i think dirk was there?

JOHN: but he looked really different, and he said something like, "Are my fucking pantaloons ready yet?"

JOHN: then i woke up.


She looks at you, somewhat concerned, but...


Is that a giggle?


Is she laughing?


JOHN: hey what's so funny?


She can't help but burst out laughing after you call her out. You're not really sure why she found your nightmare so hilarious, though on second thought, you guess "are my fucking pantaloons ready" is a silly thing to hear in a nightmare.


ROSE: I'm sorry John, I don't mean to laugh at what must have been an unsettling experience for you.

ROSE: But I don't think I was prepared to hear you say that.

ROSE: Even if I can admit it does sound like something Dirk would say in a tense situation.

JOHN: heh, yeah, i guess it is kinda funny.

JOHN: i don't know, i thought it was kind of spooky at the time, but i guess it wasn't really a "nightmare" to be real.

ROSE: It's also remarkably different from my own, so perhaps I was wrong.

ROSE: Maybe it's not particularly significant after all.

JOHN: do you wanna talk about yours?

JOHN: maybe it's as funny as mine was :P

ROSE: No, I don't think it's particularly important to bring up now. Perhaps some other time.

ROSE: In the meantime, I'd like to ask you one other thing, if I may.


You take another sip of the overly sugary CAFFEINATED BEVERAGE. You grimace at the overload of sugar, but acknowledge you probably need the caffeine right now. She moves her own drink out of the way, resting her arms on the table so she can lean in a little closer to you. You're not sure how this makes you feel.


ROSE: Where have you actually been lately?

ROSE: Are you ok?


Oh.


That's not what you were expecting.


You tense up a little bit.


JOHN: oh, uhhh, yeah. i'm fine, heh.

JOHN: i uhhhhhhhh, have been having some...

JOHN: trouble remembering things lately?

JOHN: but...

JOHN: i don't think it's really anything concerning, haha.

JOHN: i'm just kinda tired and forgetful, y'know?

JOHN: not a big deal.

ROSE: Just tired and forgetful?

ROSE: Hmmmm.

JOHN: yeah, hahaha, i think i'm just not getting enough sleep or something.

ROSE: That's, possible.


She retreats back to her chair, as she was before, and takes another sip of her drink.


ROSE: Well, should your, sleep issues, become something more...

ROSE: You're always more than welcome to speak to me.

JOHN: thanks rose, but it's not that big a deal.

ROSE: That's alright.

ROSE: I am merely letting you know that, should there be...

ROSE: Let's say some grandiose horrorterror infesting your mind and possessing you as a weapon, or something of a similar level of ridiculousness.

ROSE: I would be happy to help perform your exorcism.

JOHN: heh, yeah, you would be :P

ROSE: All jokes aside, John.

ROSE: You are still my oldest friend, and you are dear to me.

ROSE: Should you need, I would move mountains for you.

ROSE: Well.

ROSE: Provided they were small, and easily pushed around of course. I may need help otherwise.

JOHN: heh, yeah, and same goes for you, y'know.


You both laugh, but something in your chest tightens, and you remember the last time you saw Rose near a mountain. Five years ago. Roxy holding her body as the life faded from her eyes and the blood poured out of her chest. Suddenly that's all you can see when you look at her.


And then it's gone. Barely a moment passes and you're back on Earth C. You are sitting at a cafe in the Carapace Kingdom holding a CAFFEINATED BEVERAGE and speaking to your oldest friend.


Seemingly sensing your sudden shift in demeanor, Rose gets up and walks around to your side of the table. You guess your INTERACTION WITH A FRIEND THAT IS DEFINITELY NOT A DATE is coming to a close, and follow her lead. She then reaches out to give you a hug, which you awkwardly accept, before growing more comfortable with it now that it's actually happening. This feels, nice? Is that how hugs are supposed to feel? You haven't really gotten any hugs in some time.


ROSE: Oh, before I forget.

ROSE: Have you spoken to your sister lately?

JOHN: jane? i was gonna tell her happy early birthday i guess.

ROSE: No, your other sister.

JOHN: oh...


Yes, your other sister. The one you actually more frequently call your sister. You're not even sure why you said Jane, seeing as you two don't actually have that close of a relationship, and are more aptly described as FAMILIAL ACQUAINTANCES.


ROSE: She's been trying to reach you for some time now.

JOHN: yeah, i know.

JOHN: dave was trying to tell me the other day.

JOHN: i've just...

JOHN: been kind of busy.

ROSE: Mhmm.

ROSE: Maybe you'll find an opportunity to speak to her before your birthday.

JOHN: yeah, hopefully...

ROSE: Either way, this has been nice.

ROSE: Believe it or not, I have actually missed seeing you. We should try to meet again some time.

ROSE: Perhaps when you don't have so many irons in the fire.

JOHN: yeah, it was nice!

JOHN: a little awkward, but i think i could get comfortable going out in public again?

JOHN: at least, maybe not with big groups of people.

JOHN: i will let you get home to kanaya though, i'm sure she misses you already!


You hug one last time for good measure, and she begins to walk back to her loving hive and darling wife. You prepare to fade away into the wind and return to your own home, but the buzzing in your pocket is distracting. Why is your pocket buzzing?


Oh. That's right. Your MOBILE DEVICE is trying to let you know somebody is attempting to contact you. You pull it out with a moderately annoyed sigh, until you see the name that's been trying to reach you, at which point you frantically unlock your phone and check your favorite INSTANT MESSAGING CLIENT.


-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling ectoBiologist [EB] --


GC: H3Y 3GB3RT

GC: 1 DONT H4V3 4 LOT OF T1M3

GC: BUT 1 TH1NK 1 FOUND SOM3TH1NG

GC: 4ND 1 TH1NK YOU SHOULD S33 1T

GC: FUCK HOW DO 1 S3ND P1CTUR3S OV3R TH1S

GC: N3V3R M1ND 1LL JUST S3ND 1T OV3R T3XT

EB: hey, what's going on?

GC: SHUT UP 4ND CH3CK YOUR T3XTS DUMP4SS


-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling ectoBiologist [EB] --


Well shit. That was sudden. Why didn't she have more time to talk? Oh well. You do as she says and check your text messages, only to be greeted by a blurry image of a jacket. What's so special about this? It's just a tattered, grey colored jacket with cerulean stains on it.


Cerulean stains.


On a tattered grey jacket.


It finally clicks in your head, and you suddenly feel worried.


You decide to just head back home, though. You're not really sure what all you could do to help, especially since your friend is somewhere far, far away right now.