Chapter 10
She is sitting on your bed, and you at your desk. This feels familiar to you, though you expect the night to go far differently than the last time you were in this position with someone. She brought you here to talk, but she hasn't said a word yet. In all fairness, neither have you, but you were planning to let her go first, since she's the one who wanted to talk. You feel anxious, and you're worried another fight is going to erupt. You wish your matesprit were here, but you don't feel it'd be fair to gang up on your sister like that. Nor do you really feel it would be fair to Terezi to tear her away from all of her friends after having been gone for years.
Her ears droop somewhat low, almost flattened against her head. Her canid ears, not her human ears. Those are sitting right where they usually would. Her expression is one of sadness, or is it anger? You've never been particularly great at judging others emotions from their facial expressions, only being able to generally guess things like "I'm upset". That, at least, is the one thing you can spot about her current expression.
JUNE: if you don't want to talk a8out it now, we don't have to.
JUNE: i promise we can talk a8out it tomorrow if you want.
JUNE: or l8r if you don't want to tomorrow.
JUNE: not that i'm trying to get out of it, i just want to give you however long you need to 8e a8le to talk a8out it.
She nods carefully.
JADE: idk, i really dont right now but
JADE: if i dont now im afraid i wont ever
JADE: and im afraid youll...
She starts to cry.
JUNE: disappear again?
JADE: mmhmm ;-;
JADE: woof
You don't want to disappear. You didn't want to disappear the first time. Doesn't she realize that? It's not your fault, right?
JADE: i just
JADE: im happy for you
JADE: i mean it
JADE: i know things have been hard for you and
JADE: im happy you finally know who you are and i dont wanna take that away from you
JUNE: thank you, jade.
JADE: please dont think thats what im upset about
JUNE: i don't, i promise.
You start to feel old feelings swelling back up, things you hadn't felt since the last time you two had a conversation about things. That uncontrollable anger, that need to lash out. You have a feeling you know what she's going to say next, so you brace yourself for the impact.
JADE: i just
JADE: i dont know what it is but i feel ignored
JADE: i feel uncared for
JADE: unloved
Just because you brace yourself, doesn't mean the impact doesn't still hurt.
JUNE: hah, yeah, it's always a8out how *you* feel ignored...
No, you shouldn't say it. Please don't make this about yourself June. Just listen to her. Please?
JUNE: and yet *you're* the one who's hardly spoken to me.
JUNE: ever since our 8ig argument.
JADE: june please dont
JUNE: the whole time i was gone, you didn't seem to care where i was.
JUNE: when i disappeared the first time you didn't say a word.
JADE: i did!!!!!
JADE: just
JADE: not to you
JUNE: yeah, exactly. you let me just disappear and didn't 8other to say anything to me.
Are you really doing this again? Don't you remember what happened the last time you got upset like this?
JUNE: so yeah, you feel ignored, sure. sure!!!!!!!!
JUNE: f8cking fant8stic!!!!!!!!
I guess you're just not even listening to me now. Great. Fine. Fuck up your relationship, see what I care.
JADE: june i didnt say anything because i thought you hated me!!!
JADE: you asshole!!!
JADE: ive been afraid of you for ages now june!!
JADE: and especially so the last few weeks!!!
JUNE: w8, what?
JUNE: jade why the fuck would i h8 you?
JADE: because youve been making me feel like an awful fucking sister to you!!
JADE: woof woof!!! ;-;
Now do you see what I'm trying to say, June? Maybe it's a good idea to listen to the narrator once in a while. You feel like absolute shit upon hearing that. That's not even remotely what you wanted her to feel.
Is it?
You can't tell. Part of you wants to make her hurt, but more of you feels like a complete asshole for not only making her hurt, but for wanting to. Why do you want her to hurt? Hasn't she suffered enough?
JUNE: jade i
JUNE: i didn't mean to.
JADE: you might not have meant to but you still did anyway
JADE: because yeah i might not have been talking to you much lately
JADE: but i WAS talking to you like a bunch
JADE: ive been trying to talk to you for YEARS now
JADE: but youve been ignoring me the whole fucking time
JADE: and i dont even know what i did wrong because YOU wont fucking TALK to me
JADE: i feel like ive been a terrible fucking sister to you june and it makes me sad and angry and hurt and all kinds of upset because i just
JADE: i dont know whats wrong!!!!!!!
JADE: i dont know what i did wrong june!!!!
JADE: and i havent even been able to figure it out because every time i try to fucking TALK to you you just
JADE: DISAPPEAR!!!!!!
She stops, exasperated, to catch her breath. Wow, do you feel like a fucking asshole. Seriously, I can't even begin to describe how shitty you feel. You had no idea you were doing that to her, you were just...
JUNE: i told you last time, j8de.
JUNE: the reason i haven't 8een talking to you is 8ecause
JUNE: i'm afr8id.
JUNE: i thought YOU h8ed ME.
JUNE: every time we would talk, every time *anyone* would talk to me, it just made me feel really 8ad.
JUNE: 8ecause it didn't feel like anyone was talking to *me*.
JUNE: they were talking to some8ody else, who they thought i was.
JUNE: they just saw who i used to 8e, and they didn't know any 8etter that 8eing that person was wrong.
JUNE: that it felt wrong on so many fucking levels.
JUNE: hell *i* didn't even know, jade.
You start to calm down. Tears begin flowing down your face. You don't want to yell at her anymore. You don't want to keep fighting. You're done fighting with her, you just want to be friends again. You want to be sisters again.
JUNE: i don't want to keep fighting.
JUNE: i don't h8 you jade.
JUNE: i promise.
JUNE: i don't think you're a terri8le sister either, i think you're a really gr8 sister.
JUNE: i just, i couldn't handle it anymore.
JUNE: i started withdrawing 8ecause every8ody kept calling me "dude", or "bro", or "brother", or fucking
JUNE: every time jake said literally anything to me or referred to me.
JUNE: all those dum8 things he says all the time?
JUNE: like "old 8oy"?
JUNE: who even fucking says that?!
You're not sure if it's your imagination, but you think you notice her chuckle ever so slightly at hearing that. It almost looked as if a smile flashed on her face for a moment as well. If it had, though, it's gone now.
JUNE: or all the times people kept calling me 8y my old name.
JUNE: it hurt, jade.
JUNE: even just talking to people hurt really 8ad.
JUNE: even when you did it.
JUNE: and i don't want to make you feel 8ad 8y saying that, i just
JUNE: every8ody kept saying my name and over the years it got to 8e too much, so i just stopped talking.
JUNE: it wasn't just you i stopped talking to, jade.
JUNE: aside from 8irthdays i haven't really spoken to jane, or jake, or basically all of our friends in years.
JUNE: i kind of kept up with rose and terezi and sometimes roxy 8ut otherwise, i haven't really talked to *anyone* in years, not just you.
She wipes the tears from her eyes, and you decide maybe you shouldn't be so far apart from each other. You walk towards the bed, but stop when Jade looks up at you, a sense of fear in her eyes.
JUNE: is it ok if i sit next to you, sis?
The tears she wiped away return, much to her chagrin, and she slides over to give you room.
JADE: june im so sorry
JADE: i didnt mean to make you feel like that, i didnt know
JUNE: it's ok, jade. i didn't know either.
JUNE: and i'm sorry too.
JUNE: i should have talked to you sooner, i'm sorry i made you think i h8ed you all this time.
JUNE: i don't h8 you jade, i promise.
JUNE: and i'm sorry for everything else, i'm sorry a8out the last few weeks, i'm sorry i yelled at you and lashed out at you and disappeared.
JUNE: TWICE.
JUNE: i never meant to do any of that, i never meant to hurt you.
JUNE: but i did.
JUNE: i know that now.
JADE: im sorry i yelled at you too
JADE: im sorry i called you an asshole ;-;
JADE: woof :'(
The tears are flowing between the two of you. You both try to keep your composure long enough to finish saying what you needed to say.
JUNE: 8ut hey, now that i'm figuring all of this stuff out
JUNE: now that i'm trying to talk to everyone again
JUNE: may8e we can fix things.
JUNE: may8e we can start 8eing friends again.
JUNE: may8e we can 8e sisters, jade!
JADE: id really like that
JADE: im happy i have a sister, and im happy to get to know you again <3
JUNE: i don't h8 you jade.
JUNE: i mean it, i never did.
JUNE: i always thought you were the one who h8ed me, and i'm so sorry i made you feel like i did.
JADE: im sorry too june ;-;
You embrace, finally, for the first time in what feels like years. You have reacquired a SISTER, and established your own place as somebody else's SISTER. The two of you are SISTERS now, a fact which makes you both sob and hold each other tight.
JUNE: i love you, sis.
JADE: i love you too, sis
Your reunion gives you all sorts of WARM and FUZZY FEELINGS, which you would captchalogue if they were physically present in the room. The moment you two are having is beautiful, and could not be ruined by anything.
Except for that knocking at your door.
DAVE: yo ladies
DAVE: if you two nerds arent too busy being weird and gay and shit we got snacks and drinks and shit, janes makin another cake, we got shit to actually have a real party for you and jane this time
Goddammit, Strider.
JUNE: dave she's my SISTER why the fuck would i 8e weird and gay with her?
DAVE: dude idfk youre already weird and gay with a troll whos to say youre not gonna get weird and gay with your dog sister
JADE: omg dave shut the fuck up!!!
DAVE: what
DAVE: what did i say
JUNE: dave aren't *you* gay for a troll?!
DAVE: yeah dude *and* your dog sister
DAVE: sometimes
DAVE: man how would that even work how is that gay tf am i even saying
DAVE: hey yknow what lets just back up rewind this whole conversation we dont need to talk about that stuff hey june you want a drink or no
You give Jade one last hug, and the two of you head back downstairs to rejoin the party.
TEREZI: F1N4LLY 3GB3RGT
TEREZI: YOOOUU SHOULD TRY TH3S3
TEREZI: HUM4N D1RNSK
TEREZI: DR1NKS
JUNE: terezi are you drunk already?
DAVE: yeah she mightve had a couple drinks already
KANAYA: I Tried To Stop Her But She Was Insistent On Getting
KANAYA: Fucked Up
KANAYA: I Think Is How Strider Put It
ROXY: hell yea this bitch knows how 2 party!!
What in the world did you stumble into?
DAVE: so june
DAVE: let me reiterate on a little thing i asked you two weeks ago
DAVE: that you never gave me an actual answer on cause of being mopey and gay and shit and also cause i dont think i actually got the chance to ask you right i think i just kinda implied it was gonna happen
DAVE: shit what was i saying
DAVE: oh yeah
He pulls out a bottle that unsettles you to your core.
DAVE: wanna get fucked up?
JUNE: i uhhhhhhhh
ROXY: cmon june i gotta live vicarisosly thru u or smth
ROXY: *vicarserly
ROXY: *vicariously omg i got it
ROXY: i cant get 2 drunk but i wanna see u get like wasted n shit
You're not too sure you can handle it, but you figure you may as well indulge them a little bit. It is your birthday after all. Sort of. Almost.
JUNE: ok fine!!!!!!!!
JUNE: 8ut not too fucked up i'm still kind of anxious a8out it.
DAVE: hey yeah thats cool im not tryin to fuck with you or anything
DAVE: i just figure yknow rite of passage and all
TEREZI: COM3 ON DOOOORK
TEREZI: OR W41T
TEREZI: D4V3 W1LL SH3 B3 H4RD3R TO T34S3
TEREZI: 1 DONT KNOW HOW THS33 HUM4N SOPORF1F1CS WORK
DAVE: uhhhhhhh idk cause idk what shes like when she drinks but i mean only one way to find out
TEREZI: COM3 ON JUUUUUUUUUUUUUN3 >:]
JUNE: i think i'm just going to have a few drinks.
JUNE: 8ut we'll see, heh.
---------------------------------------------------------
Your head is splitting. Sunlight streams in through your windows. There is a half naked troll lying next to you on your floor. A few remaining friends are passed out on the couch, presumably those who hadn't left when the night started to turn. You don't think you want to find out what happened last night, in fact you're not even sure you want to think at all, considering how painful thinking appears to be right now.
You would still like to know what happened to Terezi's pants. At least she's still wearing underwear. If you weren't in pain you'd probably remark on how cute she looks in them, with all of the colorful dragons on them. How precious.
TEREZI: UUUUGHHH
TEREZI: JUN3 WHY D1D YOU L3T M3 DR1NK 4LL OF THOS3 D1SGUST1NG HUM4N DR1NKS
JUNE: can it, pyrope, my fucking head is killing me.
TEREZI: OK, S3RK3T
JUNE: ughhhhhhhh
DAVE: can yall like maybe shut the fuck up
DAVE: hey whered everyone go
ROSE: Good morning, dorks and morons.
Oh, good, Rose is still here to snark at you. She must not have had near as much t- oh that's right, she's been sober for years.
As your vision starts to hurt less and less, you scan the room to take stock of who's actually still present after last night. You see Jade strewn along your stairs, still asleep. Dave is on your couch, his boyfriend appears to still be passed out next to him. You didn't take Karkat as much of a drinker, maybe he's just here because Dave stayed the night as well. Rose and Kanaya both appear to have stayed s- oh, wait, where is Kanaya?
KANAYA: Rose My Dear I Believe I Understand Why You Used To Drink These Human Drinks
KANAYA: And Im More Convinced Than Ever That Vriska Keeping You Away From Them Was A Good Thing
KANAYA: If This Is How It Feels After Drinking Them
No fucking way. You'd laugh if it didn't hurt to exist in your current state. You think you vaguely remember Roxy saying they had to leave a little early, something to do with Callie? You don't recall Dirk or Jake leaving, but you don't see them anywhere, nor do you see Jane.
JUNE: god my house is a mess now.
ROSE: Yes, well, you *were* the one who decided to show off your "windy thing" in front of everybody.
JUNE: please tell me that's just a euphemism, rose.
ROSE: I'm afraid not, June.
ROSE: You genuinely thought it was a good idea to summon some kind of wind storm in your living room.
JUNE: ughhhhhhhh
DAVE: i mean it looked kinda dope ngl but also can we like shut the fuck up
DAVE: please
TEREZI: JUN3 WH3R3 TH3 FUCK D1D YOU PUT MY P4NTS
Oh, yeah, she's still missing her pants. That didn't stop being a thing that happened or anything.
KANAYA: Pyrope I Swear To Jegus If You Dont Keep It Down I Will Finally Discover What Teal Blood Tastes Like
KARKAT: GOD CAN YOU ASSHOLES KEEP IT DOWN?
KARKAT: SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP STILL.
DAVE: yeah babe me too thats what i keep sayin you really dont need to yell it tho
This is turning into quite the mess, isn't it? You almost wish you could use your retcon powers to go back and fix all of this. You can't seem to concentrate hard enough to do so, however, and you'd rather not accidentally zap out to the Furthest Ring again.
JUNE: can someone help me find terezi's pants at least?
ROSE: I believe you are currently wearing them, actually.
JUNE: wh-what?!
Son of a bitch, those are indeed not your pants. If you're wearing hers, though, then where did yours go?
JADE: whose fucking jeans are these on my head
No. Nope. Those can't be yours, how did they get all the way over there? She's literally at the other end of the room from you! What happened last night?!
JUNE: i don't know 8ut can i get them 8ack so i can give terezi 8ack hers?
DAVE: wait you dont even know theyre yours but you want em back?
JUNE: just shut up, dave.
JADE: i dont even fucking care honestly
JADE: im never doing that again im sorry june
JUNE: it's ok i don't think i am either.
DAVE: man yall are lightweights
JUNE: "lightw8s", says the idiot who got us all in this mess in the first place.
TEREZI: C4N 1 G3T MY FUCK1NG P4NTS B4CK 4LR34DY
JUNE: ughhhhhhhh yeah hold on.
You manage to force your way up off the floor somehow, and shamble towards your dad's old study. Suddenly your vision goes dark; all of your sight is replaced with denim.
JUNE: did you really have to do that?
JUNE: couldn't you just toss them?
JUNE: or at least warn me they were going to appear on my face?
JADE: sorry
JADE: i thought i said somethin but i guess i didnt actually say it out loud :|
JUNE: it's ok.
You remove them from your face and continue into your father's study, changing out of your matesprit's pants and into your own. It doesn't occur to you until later that you could have simply changed them with your god tier powers, but you're not sure you would have gotten Terezi's pants back had you done so. Still, having worn them, you now have your own pair of pants just like hers locked away in your mental wardrobe. It sure is convenient being a god.
DAVE: so like
DAVE: what now
JUNE: what do you mean what now?
DAVE: i mean do you want us all to go home or like
DAVE: can we hang out and get a pizza or smth
ROSE: I'd say that's up to June, but I'd be happy to stick around.
ROSE: While it's fun having everyone in a room together, it has been quite a while since just the four of us and our respective partners had a chance to spend time together.
JADE: yeah idk about you guys but i feel like i just dont know the others as well
JADE: theyre all nice but
JADE: i dont feel as close to them
JUNE: i think i get what you mean.
JUNE: roxy's cool, though.
TEREZI: 3GDORK
TEREZI: P4NTS?
JUNE: oh shit, i'm sorry, heh.
You toss the pants over to her, and she manages to wrestle them on to herself with far more grace than you would expect a hungover troll to have.
KANAYA: Rose If You Dont Mind I Will Probably Make My Way Back To The Hive
KANAYA: I Should Really Lie Down In Our Recuperacoon Instead Of Whatever It Was I Slept On Last Night
KANAYA: But You Should Stay And Have Fun
ROSE: I should perhaps at least take you back home first.
ROSE: June, let me know what you all decide and I'll make my way back here.
JUNE: yeah, sure thing.
JUNE: anyone else need to leave?
DAVE: nah im good im down to hang i just need somethin to eat first
JADE: yeah me too
KARKAT: IF YOU ALL AREN'T GOING TO SHUT THE EVER LOVING FUCK UP THEN I GUESS IT MIGHT BE FUN.
JUNE: karkat did you even drink last night?
KARKAT: NO, BUT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO SLEEP FOR HOURS NOW AND PYROPE'S FOOT KEPT FUCKING JABBING MY THINK PAN.
TEREZI: H3H3H3H3H3 >:]
KARKAT: OH DON'T EVEN START WITH ME.
JADE: karkat can you please not keep shouting??
KARKAT: ME?!
KARKAT: OK, SO WHEN I ASK YOU ALL TO SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU KEEP ME UP ALL NIGHT, BUT WHEN I START SHOUTING YOU ALL TELL ME TO FUCK OFF?
KARKAT: I GET IT NOW, FUCK ME I GUESS.
DAVE: babe its cool its just kinda loud is all
KARKAT: YEAH BUT
KARKAT: FINE.
KARKAT: WHATEVER.
JUNE: i'll go ahead and order then, since you guys 8ought the snacks and everything last night.
DAVE: dude do-
DAVE: i mean june dont even worry about it dude
DAVE: girl
DAVE: female
DAVE: you
DAVE: homosexual
DAVE: there we go nailed it again dave
DAVE: dont even worry about it my homosexual
DAVE: currency isnt even real anyway its all fake like an abstraction meant to placate the masses and make em think they have more power than they actually do when really its like-
JUNE: dave.
JUNE: not now.
JUNE: please?
JUNE: my head is still killing me.
DAVE: yeah alright cool my bad sorry
DAVE: you just know how i get with the economy and all yknow
JADE: yeah we do but youre still not shutting up!!!
JADE: dummy!!! :P
You power through the pain and start to laugh. You forgot just how much you missed having your friends around. Honestly, are they even your friends? With how many things you all have been through, and especially considering Jade is already your sister, they may as well be your FAMILY. You've really missed your FAMILY. Maybe now that you finally know your true self, you can all be a FAMILY again.
Just maybe, everything is going to be alright.
> END OF ACT 1