Chapter 4
Morning. Again. You wake up a little earlier than usual for once. Your companion does as well, though she is likely used to waking up at this hour. It seems your night together was mutually painful on this old couch, judging by her pained groans and your own deeply sore muscles. You'll have to remember in the future how painful this couch can be to sleep on. Especially when you fall asleep cuddling.
Wait what?
You jerk away and shift to the end of the couch, embarrassed.
ROSE: Well, good morning to you, too. Are you alright?
JOHN: yeah i uhh, just feel awkward.
JOHN: were we... cuddling?
ROSE: Are you asking because you wish it were true? Or are you wishing it weren't?
JOHN: i don't know!!
JOHN: i just, i don't-
ROSE: It's alright, I'm teasing you. Yes we were cuddling, it was actually somewhat adorable.
ROSE: And no, there was nothing more that happened last night, in case you were worried.
JOHN: oh ok good.
JOHN: i mean uhhhh it would have just been
JOHN: awkward, right?
JOHN: if anything did happen i mean, hahahaha!
ROSE: It might have been awkward. But it didn't happen, so there isn't any way to tell.
JOHN: hah, yeah, exactly.
ROSE: Though, had such things happened, I can assure you, Kanaya would not be particularly upset.
JOHN: hahahah hey how about we don't talk about this anymore?
ROSE: Suit yourself.
ROSE: But really, is there anything wrong with a little cuddling between close friends?
JOHN: well, no, i guess.
ROSE: Then what's making you feel embarrassed?
JOHN: i just...
JOHN: i don't want you to think i'm in love with you!
JOHN: i mean that wouldn't be a bad thing if it were i just don't want you to think that!
ROSE: John, I'm gay.
JOHN: i know that rose!!!!!!!!
You feel as if you've had enough of FLIGHTY BROADS for the day, and the day has only just begun. Thankfully she is still laughing at you, so whatever awkwardness you are showing off appears to be amusing her rather than bothering her. This is good, as you would rather be amusing than upsetting. You decide to get up and offer her breakfast, but she declines, instead preferring to make her way home.
She gathers herself and the few things she brought with her, and makes her way to your front door. She stops for a moment in front of you before reaching out to embrace you.
ROSE: I'd like you to promise me something.
JOHN: what's up?
ROSE: Please, *please* reach out to me if you need. Preferably before things get bottled up and repressed and spill out with the force they did last night. For your sake.
ROSE: I want to keep reminding you until it truly sinks in, you are my closest and oldest friend and you mean more to me than anyone in this world apart from my matesprit and possibly the wonderful person that I once knew as my mother.
ROSE: At the *very* least you are more than welcome to stay on our couch any time should you need it.
JOHN: ok ok ok i get it! heheh.
JOHN: i will do my best!
JOHN: thank you for listening, i really needed that, i don't think i realized just how much.
ROSE: You'd be surprised to find out just how helpful simply having someone to talk to can be.
ROSE: I should stress that no matter how much I do attempt to play therapist, I am not your therapist, and I can't always be around 100% of the time.
ROSE: But if you need an ear to listen you are always more than welcome to reach out.
JOHN: thank you, rose.
JOHN: seriously, thank you.
JOHN: maybe i can start to figure out whatever this is.
You watch her walk out your front door and close it behind her, and as you do a sinking feeling fills your chest. You are once again alone, but this time you have a plethora of things on your mind that you are alone with, things that don't seem to want to go away. Shaking your head, you wander to your kitchen and prepare something to eat. Maybe breakfast will take your mind off of things, at least long enough for you to find yet another distraction. At the very least, perhaps it will help you engage with these thoughts in a more productive way.
You sit alone on your couch and eat your NUTRITIONAL MORNING MEAL. It doesn't taste very good, but then again when has that bothered you? You've been eating them almost daily for the past few years. Almost daily because there are days where you just don't feel up to eating breakfast. Or lunch. Or even dinner. Days where you manage to force yourself to snack on something just to keep your energy up.
Not that you particularly need the energy anyways, since when do you ever really do anything? Certainly not anymore. Instead you prefer to shut yourself in your home and do nothing, because that is easier than doing anything. “Prefer” is still a bit of a loaded word, actually, but it’s the one you "prefer" to use. Easier than trying to admit to yourself why you don't go out anymore.
Why don't you go out anymore? Why do you continually subject yourself to spending so much time alone at home? Especially now that you've been shown repeatedly the past few days that your loved ones do, surprisingly enough, care about you?
JOHN: oh no don't tell me we're doing this again.
We're not doing anything, John. I'm simply trying to narrate to the reader your internal sad sack thoughts.
JOHN: i'm not a fucking sad sack!!!!!!!!
JOHN: ugh!!!!!!!!
I mean I could tell you that you kind of are right now, and I could tell you why, and even answer all of your many, many boring questions right now. But that isn't how stories work. You clearly don't have this revelation in this chapter, and who am I to mess with the narrative?
JOHN: actually yeah who are you anyways?
Nobody you would know.
JOHN: well that is both helpful and not even remotely ominous in any way!
Can it with the sarcasm, John. It's not very befitting of you.
JOHN: well if you're willing to interrupt the "story" you're telling just to call me a sad sack then don't i at least have the right to know who you are?
I could tell you, but not only would you not understand, it would drag this little interruption out much further than would be welcome by the reader. Suffice it to say you don't know me, you have never known me, and barring any shenanigans, you likely will not ever know me. But I mean you no harm. I am simply here to take your thoughts and your story and weave them into a compelling narrative for the benefit of an audience who may or may not be interested in learning about you. An audience you will also never meet. In fact, neither they nor I even exist in your world.
Now, can we get back to the story? May I please return to narrating your internal monologue?
JOHN: ok fine i guess but why don't i get to do it?
Oh no. No no no no no. I'm not going down THAT rabbit hole. I'm already sick and tired of meddling and fussing and bugging around with the narrative as it is. Even just talking to you feels like too much meddling. We're not going to turn this into another situation like THAT one.
JOHN: like what one!!!!!!!!
I can't tell you without shattering multiple walls in one fell swoop, most of which have already been broken and ignored and forgotten about by this very conversation. All I will tell you is you don't have the skill, training, or willpower to carry the narrative without turning in to an egotistical asshole the way one of your friends does in multiple other timelines.
JOHN: wait so this isn't the alpha timeline?
Did I say that?
JOHN: but how can there be multiple timelines unless one of them is doomed?
I honestly could not tell you. I don't know. I have a vague idea but I don't in any way know how to explain it to you in a way you would understand. Just bear with me here. Now can we please get back to the story? This is getting dangerously close to the kind of narrative masturbation I would like to avoid, and I already feel horrible for communicating with you at all.
JOHN: ok jeez fine. go 8ack to whatever you were doing i don't care anymore.
Thank you.
Now, where were we?
Why don't you go out anymore? Why do you continually subject yourself to spending so much time alone at home? Especially now that bluh bluh bluh we've heard these questions before.
You sit and stare at your half-eaten NUTRITIONAL MORNING MEAL. It honestly looks much more disgusting than you remember. When was the last time you actually ate one of these? You decide to shovel a few last minute bites into your mouth just to hopefully give yourself a bit more energy and toss the rest, unable to eat anymore.
Without the distraction of your disgusting breakfast, your thoughts quickly turn inwards. You start to wonder about last night. Or at least, what little you remember of last night. The fog is already beginning to set in. You can't even remember why Rose was staying the night at your place.
Except, you do. The fog isn't actually setting in. You just expected it to because that's what it's always done. Every morning for the last few years your memory of what happened the day before would always be consumed by the fog in your mind. Upon waking up you could barely remember the previous day, and by noon most - if not all - of the day's events were effectively wiped from your memory.
But today it isn't. Today you remember things clearly.
Not even just last night, or yesterday morning, but all sorts of things. You remember your fight with Jade. Your fights with Jade.
Fights? As in plural?
You recall yesterday wasn't your first fight. There was another, one that was still fairly recent. It was three in the morning and your sister was drunk. It was about the same things you always fight about. Always? That sounds a bit harsh, do you really always fight like this?
You shake your head and ignore those memories. The fights aren't important.
What feels more important to you is the sudden influx of memories involving you and your name. This feels much more important, especially when those memories keep coming. The moment you acknowledge one, another fills your head. And the moment you acknowledge that one, yet another pops up. This has been seriously bothering you for a long time now, hasn't it?
But why?
You genuinely cannot fathom any possible reason you could feel so disgusted with your own name. So disgusted by merely the thought of hearing it. It or any of the myriad of terms that seems to be making you feel so completely, so thoroughly, so utterly wrong.
Then, out of nowhere, a little voice in the back of your head reminds you of something.
Didn't Terezi call you a girl yesterday?
She very well might have. You barely remember, and search your suddenly vast bank of memories until you remember more clearly. She said you sounded like a girl, and the way she said it made it sound to you as if she had called you "girl Egbert". She also called you a "snarky bi- ahem.
A SN4RKY B1TCH.
That was just her messing with you though. Right?
You are pulled away from these thoughts by a buzzing in your pocket. Suddenly you remember you have a MOBILE DEVICE with your favorite INSTANT MESSAGING CLIENT installed on it, and that you have various FRIENDS AND ACQUAINTANCES who like to pester you through it.
-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --
TG: yoooooooooooooooo john
TG: u finally there for once or do i gotta keep buggin u
TG: jooooooooooooooooohn
TG: egbert
TG: egdork
TG: i kno u hide offline a bunch even when ur online
EB: oh hey roxy.
TG: gasp
TG: ur actually online for once?!
EB: what's up?
TG: dude how r u
EB: i'm alright i guess. you?
TG: im actually really good im like
TG: im over in the human kingdom doin some shopping!
TG: im gettin stuff 4 callie cause u kno theyre kinda scared to come over here n stuff cause all the humans suck and think they look wierrd
TG: *weird
TG: i PROMISE im not drunk lol
EB: heheh.
TG: neways we should hang out or smth
TG: like get lunch or w/e thatd be cool
EB: oh god you too?
EB: heheh, it feels like everybody's trying to hang out with me l8ly.
EB: is there some kind of conspiracy to get me out of the house?
TG: lol nahhhhhhhhhhh
TG: idk about every1 else but like
TG: i just wanna hang out w/ u w/o everybody bein around
EB: oh, huh. really?
EB: why's that?
TG: idk dude i just like actually gettin 2 talk to u
TG: i feel like i only see u on ur birfdy n stuff n everyone else is around
TG: n u get all shy and stuff
TG: n u havent even had any1 over for it lately
TG: but ur kinda cool and i like actually wanna talk to u
TG: plus then i dont have to fight for ur attention cause u kno that boy dave keeps tryin to steal it like he likes you or smth
EB: hahahahah you're not wrong!
TG: yea duh im not wrong dork im right about like everything im like if dave were as smart as he is cool
TG: jk i love him hes a good dude
TG: so!!!!
TG: where we gettin lunch egbert
EB: i don't know i didn't even say i wanted to yet!
TG: yea but u kno ur gonna say yes
EB: and how do you know that?
TG: cause u kno how awesome i am and how cool itd be to hang out w/ me
TG: *wonk* ;P
EB: hahahah, ok you're kind of right about that, i guess.
EB: yeah sure why not?
TG: oh HELL yea lets go
TG: oh shit i found this cute lil place its kinda frenchish
TG: they got these cute lil cakes in the window too
TG: ill meet u here!!
EB: oh ok, but
-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --
They ceased pestering you before they could tell you where it is.
Looks like you'll have to find the place on your own.
---------------------------------------------------------
Shockingly enough, the French-ish place was not too far from your house. Roxy probably didn't even realize how close it was, not that you're complaining. Still, you would have enjoyed getting to spend a little more time doing the windy thing. You again search for a nearby alleyway, so as not to draw attention to yourself by appearing in the middle of a gaggle of humans.
People.
Why do you call them humans? Aren't you a human? They're just so different from the humanity you grew up knowing, even though genetically they're all descended from clones of you and your friends. That, as well as the whole god thing, convinces you maybe it's normal to call them humans? That is what they are, and to imply that they are people while trolls, carapacians, and consorts are not people would be pretty bigoted of you, wouldn't it?
You decide it's alright and definitely not weird or alien sounding to call them humans. You also make sure not to think that statement with any degree of sarcasm, because you are being genuine about this. You are OVERTHINKING this. Just call them humans, Egbert.
You appear in the alleyway, fading in, your body forming from gusts of air, just as you have done numerous times before. You check to make sure nobody is staring or watching, and stroll out of the alleyway as casually as you can, making your way to where your friend is currently munching on a tasty looking croissant.
JOHN: hey roxy.
ROXY: holy shit is that john mother fucking egbert in front of me??
ROXY: cmere nerd i missed u!
You get swept up into a crushing hug, not that you particularly mind. You're not as close to Roxy as you'd like, but you'd like to think you enjoy their company more than you enjoy that of most of your other friends.
JOHN: wow roxy i didn't think you actually liked me that much!
ROXY: u kiddin egbert dude ur like
ROXY: actually cool lol
ROXY: unlike some of the other assholes we know
Huh. You don't think you knew they had any trouble with anyone else. But then again how would you? It's not like you really talk to anyone anymore.
JOHN: really?
ROXY: yea dude i like
ROXY: barely talk to some of them anymore
ROXY: janeys been buggin me for months now ever since i came out u know
ROXY: she kinda doesnt talk to me anymore
ROXY: but i also kinda bitched her out the last time we talked so like idk yknow
JOHN: yeah i haven't really talked to her in a long time either.
JOHN: i don't think she really likes me?
You know full well why she doesn't talk to you anymore. It's not even her fault either. She's tried to message you, but she seemed to grow tired of your inability to respond to anyone much sooner than everyone else did. But you're not going to tell Roxy that. Especially since you don't think it's really important compared to what she's talking about.
ROXY: idk dude i love janey but i think she just kinda doesnt really get it u kno?
ROXY: i think shes just strugglin cause her whole worldview kinda doesnt get it?
ROXY: like she just doesnt kno how to justify it n all shes still stuck in the whole "bluh bluh gender at birth bluh bluh two genders" w/e
ROXY: but its cool i think shell come around eventually i dont think she hates me or anything she just needs 2 figure it out
ROXY: n also stop bein like a huge mega bitch u kno :P
JOHN: yeah, i hope she gets over herself.
ROXY: so whats new w/ u egbert?
ROXY: what u been up to?
JOHN: oh, i uhhhh.
JOHN: i've been busy!
JOHN: you know, just fixing stuff up around the house, all sorts of other things.
ROXY: ohhhh i gotchu
JOHN: yeah, i've kind of just got a lot of irons in the fire at the moment.
JOHN: like, just all of the irons.
JOHN: all of them.
ROXY: yea that's cool i gotchu
JOHN: oh, i hung out with rose the other day too.
ROXY: oh shit?
JOHN: yeah, she bugged me into getting coffee with her.
ROXY: oh yea sure she bugged u :P
ROXY: *wonkWONK*
JOHN: it's not like that!
JOHN: besides she's gay, even if i did like her like that
JOHN: WHICH I DON'T!
JOHN: it wouldn't really work out.
JOHN: but it's not a big deal 8ecause i don't actually like her like that!
ROXY: mmhmm sure i believe u
ROXY: *wonkwonkwonk*
JOHN: roxy!!!!!!!!
JOHN: seriously it's not like that.
JOHN: she's just...
You feel self conscious of your little outburst and look to see if anybody noticed. Thankfully they didn't, but looking around does give you the chance to figure out what Rose is "just".
JOHN: she's my oldest friend.
JOHN: she's really comfortable to be around and easy to talk to.
ROXY: yea i get that
ROXY: i dont talk to her as much lately but its just cause shes kinda busy a lot and i get that
ROXY: i do lvoe her tho
ROXY: *love
ROXY: shes cool i just wish we could talk more u kno
ROXY: kinda like u tbh
JOHN: yeah...
JOHN: it's just kind of hard to talk to people lately, or at least for me it is.
JOHN: i don't even really know why.
JOHN: like, dave and karkat.
JOHN: they're cool right?
ROXY: i mean dave is idk about karkat but he is kinda cute ill give u that
ROXY: always yellin and all but when he thinks no ones lookin i see how he looks at dave and like
ROXY: omg theyre so cute lol
ROXY: theyre so gay its adorable
JOHN: yeah, but i don't think i really feel all that close to them anymore, you know?
JOHN: i don't know, they're just hard to talk to.
JOHN: especially karkat, i can't tell if he actually likes me or if he hates me or something.
JOHN: or if it's that weird troll hate-ship thing like how he used to feel about me.
ROXY: wait back up back up back up
ROXY: karkat wants to be ur kismesis?
JOHN: that's the word, but no.
JOHN: or.
JOHN: i don't think?
JOHN: i don't know!
JOHN: he used to!
JOHN: like, years and years ago, he accidentally let it slip during our first conversation.
JOHN: or, his with me actually.
JOHN: ok look you can't tell him or anyone i told you this, but i think you'll laugh.
JOHN: he first messaged me towards the end of our sburb session, but he was so awkward and accidentally told me he kind of wanted to hate-date me or be my kismesis or whatever.
JOHN: and when i called him out on it,
JOHN: because by that point i had already talked to him a bunch,
JOHN: he got so embarrassed he started trolling me backwards!
ROXY: hahahahaha omg thats adorable!!!!!
JOHN: it was really funny and i feel bad for him cause that must have been hard for him, especially since i was still 13 and said dumb things like "i am not a homosexual".
JOHN: i mean, i'm not gay, but i made a big deal out of it back then like an idiot.
ROXY: lmao i remember dave calling u out about it on the platform
JOHN: so i didn't really react very well and i feel bad about that.
JOHN: but it was still kind of funny.
ROXY: yea karkats funny
ROXY: hes cute the way he gets mad about everything n yells at u all the time but u kno he still loves u
JOHN: yeah i guess.
JOHN: he's a good guy and i'm glad him and dave have each other.
JOHN: it's just hard to talk to them lately.
ROXY: yea i get u
JOHN: honestly i think you and rose might be the only people i feel super close to anymore.
JOHN: and terezi but she's so far away.
ROXY: oh yea shes still lookin for u kno who right?
JOHN: yeah...
JOHN: i miss her.
JOHN: i miss both of them.
JOHN: but i think i really miss terezi...
ROXY: awww thats cute
ROXY: and sad :'(
JOHN: how is that sad?!
They burst out laughing, which makes you wince a little, worried about drawing attention, but a quick glance suggests that, once again, nobody seems to actually care.
ROXY: no no not like that lmao
ROXY: i just mean its sad that u n ur friend are so far apart
ROXY: like i wish she was around for u
ROXY: u kno?
JOHN: oh, yeah i guess i get that.
JOHN: heh, i thought you were gonna call me a sad sack or something.
ROXY: nah dude ur not a sad sack
ROXY: ur prolly just goin thru some shit n ur friends arent around as much 4 u
ROXY: i get that
ROXY: believe me i get that a lot
JOHN: yeah...
JOHN: i don't think i've even said a word to some of your friends in years, like jake and dirk and jane.
JOHN: especially jane like i honestly don't even think i know who she is.
JOHN: not like in movies when people say "i don't even know who you are anymore", i just mean i don't think i even really ever got to know her in the first place?
JOHN: i don't think i really know jake or dirk very well either :/
ROXY: oh yea speakin of fuck jake tbh
JOHN: wait what?
ROXY: yea like
They pause for a second, and you worry you struck a nerve. They takes another bite out of the pastry they've been nursing since you arrived.
ROXY: i guess it doesnt hurt as much as janey did tbh
ROXY: like i guess i wasnt really as close to jake as i was to jane but like
ROXY: he kinda did the same thing when i came out u kno?
JOHN: really? jake?
JOHN: i thought he'd be better about that since he's gay.
ROXY: i think hes bi but still
ROXY: dude just kinda told me "oh, ok" and then just kinda stopped talkin to me
ROXY: kinda really hurt
ROXY: i tried to talk to him a bunch for a while thinkin maybe hes just kinda not doin well
ROXY: nope
ROXY: i asked dirk if he was doin alright and that boy told me "Yeah, he's alright. What's going on?"
ROXY: and that just pissed me off cause i could tell he was ignorin me
ROXY: and not like u either like at least when u kinda dont message me for a while u apologize
ROXY: i know its not cause ur ignorin me
ROXY: but this dude literally jsut started ignorin me and would not talk to me
JOHN: jegus, roxy.
JOHN: i mean jesus, i don't know why i keep saying that.
ROXY: lol its prolly ur girlfriend
JOHN: terezi's not my girlfriend!!!!!!!!
ROXY: oh yea shes ur matesprit right?
JOHN: ugh!!!!!!!!
JOHN: yes it's probably her doing but she's not my girlfriend or my m8sprit or my kismesis or whatever it is you're going to say next.
ROXY: chill egdude im just messin with u lol
You start to wish they'd stop calling you dude, but you do admit: coming from them it feels less bothersome than from someone like Dave. Plus you acknowledge that "egdude" is kind of funny. Still, you might as well say something to them.
JOHN: hey, roxy?
ROXY: yea?
JOHN: do you think you could, uhh...
JOHN: maybe stop calling me dude for a while?
JOHN: i mean, if that's fine?
ROXY: o hell yea sure no prob i got u
ROXY: no worries i didnt kno it bugged u :O
JOHN: yeah, it's kind of a recent development.
JOHN: i didn't even realize how much it bugged me until, yesterday i guess?
JOHN: oh and sorry for getting you off topic :(
ROXY: hey no worries egdork lol its all good :D
ROXY: neways yea he just kinda ghosted me
ROXY: but its fine idk maybe hell come around
ROXY: maybe ill talk to him tomorrow or smth
ROXY: ur still havin everyone over for ur birfdy right?
JOHN: uhhhhhhhh...
JOHN: i didn't have anything planned actually.
ROXY: oh
ROXY: rose told me u did lol
JOHN: wait she what?
Really, Rose? Ugh, that meddling meddlesome meddler. Always bugging and fussing and meddling. You've really had enough of FLIGHTY BROADS and their PARTY-PLANNING HORSESHIT this chapter.
ROXY: yea lol
JOHN: i mean i guess i have to have everyone over now but i don't even have anything prepared.
ROXY: yo we should go pick up stuff like snacks n shit!!!
JOHN: what?
JOHN: like right now?
ROXY: yea cmon lets go!!
JOHN: but i haven't even eaten yet!!
ROXY: yea but r u even hungry?
That's a good question. Are you? R u even hungry Egdork?
Not really.
You're still a little full from the not particularly filling breakfast you had this morning. Your appetite today isn't really that big, it seems.
JOHN: i guess not.
ROXY: ill get u a crossant, take it with u lol
ROXY: *croisant
ROXY: *cross ant
ROXY: u kno what i mean dammit
JOHN: heheheh.
---------------------------------------------------------
The two of you wander around the Human Kingdom for a few hours, chit-chatting and lovingly shit-talking your friends, occupying each others time in a way you haven't really done with anyone in years, as you make your way around various shops looking for things to have at your party. You insist you don't need to have all of these things, but they don't seem to take no for an answer. Eventually you relent as they keep picking up things you wouldn't otherwise have gotten, though you draw the line at anything with the Crocker name on it.
Not that they mind. You both have your own issues with the Crocker name, both related to your mutual friend and to the horrible Batterwitch who ruined both of your childhoods. Childrenhood? You aren't sure, but childhoods sounds more correct, which means it's most likely childrenhood.
Speak of the devil and she appears, however, as shockingly enough you run into none other than-
ROXY: jane?
JANE: Roxy?
JANE: Is, is that John?
JOHN: hi jane.
JANE: Well, this is a surprise. Are...
She looks away for a second, clearly feeling awkward and clearly not expecting to see either of you.
ROXY: r what janey?
JANE: Err, are you two umm, together?
JOHN: what?!
ROXY: janey wtf
You both laugh quite loudly, though you're not sure if it's out of mutual awkwardness or if you're both genuinely amused by the question.
JOHN: no jane we're not "together", heh.
ROXY: yea like i love this nerd but were just friends lmao
JANE: I'm sorry! It was a genuine question!
JANE: Seeing the two of you together I genuinely couldn't tell!
JANE: You both, umm, seem very happy together?
JANE: I just assumed, you know, it seemed kind of obvious?
She's deeply embarrassed, but you're not sure you really care. Especially after finding out how she's been treating Roxy lately.
ROXY: lmao its fine janey chill out were just out shoppin for johns birfdy together
JOHN: yeah it's not a big deal, it's just kind of funny.
ROXY: b-sides im seein callie neways n i mean id be cool to do the polyam thing but idk if egdork here could do it lmao
JOHN: hey w8 what's that supposed to mean?!
What is that supposed to mean, anyways?
JANE: Well, I guess since you're here, John, I should let you know.
JANE: Things at Crockercorp have been busier than usual lately, and I'm not sure I'll be able to attend tomorrow.
JANE: I will certainly do my best to attempt to!
JANE: But just in case, happy early birthday John!
She gives you a hug.
It's kind of weird.
But you guess this means she doesn't hate you?
Either way, you awkwardly lean into the hug and take the earliest chance to retreat from it that you can find.
JOHN: uh, thanks jane, happy early birthday to you too!
JOHN: and it's ok if you can't make it!
JANE: O-oh?
JOHN: yeah, umm, i kind of didn't even know until today that it would happen!
JOHN: so i don't really have any expectations or anything.
JOHN: but if you can make it that's good, i'd like to actually get to talk to you again.
JANE: You, didn't know you were having a birthday?
JANE: That's strange, Rose told me you-
JOHN: oh goddammit rose.
JOHN: i need to talk to her later.
JOHN: no i knew i was having a birthday, i just didn't know rose had told everyone i was having a party!
JOHN: she decided not to tell me i guess!
ROXY: lmao yea
ROXY: she likes messin with u like that
JOHN: yeah, she does.
JANE: Are, umm...
JOHN: jane, no, rose and i are not "together" either.
JANE: Ok, ok! I get it! I'm sorry!
ROXY: janey u really think johns goin out with everyone dont u lol
ROXY: altho u might b right about this 1 :P
ROXY: *WONK*
JOHN: roxyyyyyyyy!
JOHN: you know i can hear when you say "wonk" right?!
JANE: Yes, Roxy, we all can.
JANE: Every time you say it.
ROXY: ok ok ok i get it lmao
JOHN: i think i'm going to go home, i should probably get all this stuff back home and get things ready for tomorrow i guess.
JOHN: now that i know i have a party.
JOHN: thanks again rose.
JANE: But we only just ran into each other, John!
JOHN: i know! and it was nice to see both of you!
JOHN: but i should really get home.
JOHN: maybe you two can catch up without me! that could be cool right?
JOHN: bye!!
ROXY: wait john-
You and the party goods fade into the wind before they can finish their sentence.
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